


Complex

by happywhaleshark



Category: Nogizaka46 (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25132417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happywhaleshark/pseuds/happywhaleshark
Summary: "I wish I could be light in her eyes too, weak or not."
Relationships: Suzuki Ayane/Hori Miona





	Complex

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration come from a 2019 Hori mail (the one about how unreasonable some critics are and how Ayane understands her better than anyone) , but most events are heavily embellished.

Suzuki Ayane entered the lounge, where a first comer was retouching her makeup in the mirror.

She did not speak first, but looked at the back of the woman's head.

"Do you like my new hair color that much? "

The woman turned to look at Ayane, her large eyes smiling.

"Of course I do, I have been praising you since you've sent me photo. Not yet tired of flattery, are you? "

Ayane has to say, Hori Miona was always cute when she wants to be cute. If it's Miria, she's probably glued on Miona already. Ayane wasn't in the mood today, so she just sat across from Miona with her arms folded.

"That's different. Now you're complimenting me to my face, and it makes me happier. "

"Now please just stop this."

Ayane noticed Miona's eyes were a little red. It was not uncommon for the idols to wear contact lenses and they constantly cause red eyes, but Miona looked as if she had just cried.

Like most people with Artsy Teen Syndrome, Ayane hates direct speech. Thus, Ayane didn't ask Miona directly what she wanted to know.

"Mio, I suppose you haven't had a lot of rest lately? "

"I don't want to hear that question from you. Have you looked in the mirror these days? " Miona pointed under her eyes.

Ayane's eyebrows twitched. In recent days, two other members of the Pudding Meeting have been mocking the visible dark circles under her eyes in a recent set of news photos.

"It's because there are so many new books coming out that are of interest to me that I can't get over it, and it takes a little bit of staying up late. But you're not like me, are you? I think you're staying up late watching the talent shows again? "

"That's so rude. I'm a busy woman, and you enjoy watching those foreign talent shows more than me! " Miona pouted. "It's just that my comment column has been so cluttered lately that I'm not in a good mood. "

"Comments? Oh, 755. "

"Just look at these comments! "

Miona pulled out her phone, poked it a few times, and turned the screen toward Ayane. 

It... just looks like a regular selfie.

It's not a news that Miona's beloved Korean filter was reviled by snake-face haters, and Ayane couldn't see the controversy surrounding the Selfie.

When she saw Ayane's poker face, Miona flicked the screen again, and the comments section was displayed.

"Miss Hori, what does your ring mean? "

"[Breaking] Hori Miona publicly shows off the ring on her right ring finger!!!!"

"Are you graduating? Congratulations! "

"Have a baby soon, Hee Hee Hee. "

"Poor idol otaku, all your money goes to the boyfriend LOL"

Ayane knew that rings in different places have different meaning, but didn't immediately realize what was wrong with Miona's selfie before she see the comments.

"Oh. "

Miona looked angrily at Ayane's round eyes.

"Isn't that awful? Not only they judge my fashion sense, but also they give me a 'boyfriend' just because of this? Is it true that if I wear a ring once, my boyfriend will appear out of nowhere? If that really happens, I'm going to date 10 different hot guys generated by the ring!"

"Let's hope you don't end up with a 70-year-old man who doesn't speak Japanese. "

"Not at 70. The max acceptable age for me is around fifty! "

"You are so confident in your language skills... "

Miona got up and sat down next to Ayane, who leaned slightly in that direction with understanding.

"It's the same as when you were in the movie which you had a lot of kiss scenes... It's not a problem at all, but people who have hated you from the beginning will jump on you when they see an opportunity to attack you. "

"I am not that silly, "Miona leaned over Ayane's shoulder.

Ayane knew that Miona had seen more storms than she had, that Ayane had given her entire adolescence to under lives in the dark, and that Miona was thrown into the angry first generations from the beginning. Compared to Miona, Ayane was a frog in a well.

How could Miona not know why so many people hate her so much? She just wanted Ayane to comfort her.

"What age do these people live in? They can swear at anything, " said Miona, burying her head deep in Ayane. "I'm angry now. Coax me please. "

Ayane, who was one of the youngest members before the third generations' joining, often acted as a spoiled child when she hangs out with friends. So she could see that Miona was now acting like Ayane's usual self in a vexatious manner.

Then she should do what others did to her.

"Don't react to those idiots. Your fans are people who understand you. People who are prejudiced against you from the beginning can't see you as you are. "

"I know, But I'm still mad. If someone beats you every day, even if it lasts for years, you still won't get used to it, will you? "

"Don't worry, you'll never get as many people hating you as liking you, with your fans and all of us standing behind you. "

Ayane wanted to make it more dramatic, more mushy, but then she swallowed it. The kind of blood-boiling pep talk that Hinako likes was not something she can learn, and she does not spread her good will as naturally as Junna does. She's has to use the word "everyone" as a shield.

"Ayane, you're the best. I love you so much. "

Miona threw herself into Ayane's arms.

Ayane's hands were put on the back of Miona's head.

"I'm going to write a blog on my phone and curse those people back! "

"Well, I support you, just don't curse. " Ayane's fingertips slid through Miona's hair.

Ayane was never the one to coddle others, but rather the opposite. She acts like a spoiled brat to her elder brother every day at home, and within the second generations, she was recognized as the sadistic little sister, and that even frightened some third generation kids who were not familiar with her.

However, her attitude towards Miona was a little different.

Over the years, she has been quietly walking in the Border group, behind Miona, Maichun and Hinako.

It's a lie to say she's not jealous. But there's no grudge too.

Miona had been given many things that Ayane might never have been given; but she had also been given too many things that she does not deserve to suffer.

Ayane's bad habits persist, and to this day she feels uncomfortable to look strangers in the eye or speak in crowds. She likes to look down at her own shadow so that she can feel at ease.

There have been many critics of her introversion. She suffered blows, struggled for many years, gradually rely on their own efforts to earn more recognition.

She wondered how Miona, lacking a buffer period, had survived these years.

She would have preferred Miona not to be so strong, and not to force herself to accept those denigration that should not be accepted in the first place.

So now she was so gentle with Miona that she herself felt sick to her stomach.

Miona had been texting her every day for the past three years, calling occasionally, for a few minutes at a time and for more than two hours at a time.

She seldom hung up first.

Miona was a busy woman, but she occasionally asked Ayane out in her spare time, and Ayane rarely said no if their schedule don't collide.

It was not her intention, but Miona seemed to grow more and more attached to her every year.

The woman said to Ayane, Ayane is the person who understands me the most and is the first person I contact when something is bothering me.

Ayane put one hand behind Miona's back, looking at  Miona's new dyed dark hair.

Ayane was in a bit of a trance and even had the illusion that she was still living in that year.

Back then, her hair was much shorter than Miona's, and she was so unkempt that she looked like a little savage. Miona, though still a rural high school student, was already rather prominent in the second generations.

At the time Nogizaka was a relatively unknown group, with the other second generations living with their parents and only two rural newcomers, Ayane and Miona crammed into hotel rooms.

The junior high school country bumpkin was disgusted by the bad water in Tokyo for a long time before she got used to it.

The girl who was 3 years older than her danced with her during the day, and fantasized about the future of the group and their future position in the group with her at night.

After the 7th senbatsu, everyone felt betrayed by Miona, and Ayane even felt that she was the one who had been hurt the most. They were talking about how strong the first generations were, and they were going to work hard together to enter senbatsu together. On the next day, Miona slapped everyone in the face.

Ayane couldn't recall why she decided to comfort crying Miona, even though she felt her strongly rejection towards Miona.

After that, Ayane, like most of the other second generations, naturally distanced herself from Miona, who did not dare to speak to them as well.

That lasted until they act on live stage together.

Ayane began talking to her more and more, and came to realize Miona was also hit hard by wrong decisions.

When Ayane was 14, Miona and Ayane chatted happily about how they would be shining on the stage together in the future.

Five years later, Miona excitedly told reporters, I've been waiting for her, and this day has finally come. You know, we promised a long time ago to go in senbatsu together.

Ayane didn't know why Miona was mentioning the other second generations over and over again, even though all of them had already knew what their position was in the group a long time ago, and why she was crying more than Ayane herself when the 21st senbatsu came out.

All she knew was that she didn't want to see any more of Miona's tears.

She held Miona tighter.


End file.
